Changes

Many things have changed for us lately. My husband is cross training for a new job in the military. So after our time is up here we will be moving to Texas for a short while. It is a bitter sweet. We are excited about his new job but now we have lesson duty stations to choose from because he will not know very much about his job so that limits the bases we are aloud to move to. At first I did not want to stay over seas. But after thinking about how young we are and how we have yet to have children, I did a quick 360 and wanted nothing more then to stay overseas. Now that are bases our limited we only have 2 overseas bases we are aloud to move to. And that is only if the Air Force picks on of those. Otherwise it is in the states we stay. On the plus sides, I will only be one flight away from my family and will be able to spend holidays with them.

Only a couple of months before my husband and I have to separate. I guess that is what you get for signing up for military life. This is our first deployment and I hope it goes by fast. We found out a while ago but it seemed so far away that I shoved it far back inside my head. Now it just keeps getting closer and closer. As that happens it is becoming more real to me. At first I was telling myself it was fine because we had our whole relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend living in different countries so we know how it goes. Well, since then I have forgotten how hard it is and we have grown a way stronger connection. I am honestly freaking out about it. Not because i think anything bad will happen but because I remember how lonely it gets to know you have someone but can't be with them. Then at the loneliest time you hold onto the phone praying he will call. And after having him by my side for two and a half years straight I don't know how it will be without him. At night i find myself laying in bed not being able to fall asleep. I start thinking about lots of thing, then of course the deployment comes to mind and as much as I try to shove it back, it resurfaces. I then turn over to my husband and hold him as tight as I can until I fall asleep. Gosh I love that man! The time I get to spend with him now is more precious then ever.

Some women might read this and think "I wish my husband would go away for a while". And yes, there are moments where I find myself thinking that. But when it boils down to it and I really try and imagine my days without him, no way sistas! I'll just keep my annoying, smelly, non house cleaner husband with me thanks! Because I know it is way better then what I am about to experience next.